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Guoxiaosi88888888 29, Female, China - 494 entries

May 2011
3:07 PM EST

dream log 8

May 3, 2011 5;49am

�

Had a dream that mia and Phong came over to my house to just hang out. We then ended up playing a video game that turns phong evil (more like he was obsessed with the game and got too carried away.) then after awhile I deleted him from the game(which I think I made him disappear or he just left.) In my dream after, it seemed that phong was adopted(he's not adopted in real life). Yeah. Then we had dinner and there was a scene of a family prayer or something in a Japanese style thingy. Then my mom started to talk about sterling silver and ask if there was someone else that was joining us. I said no (I didn't know where phong was ._.)

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lasemilla 50, Male, California, USA - 6 entries

May 2011
2:01 PM

Meeting on Saturday

Training seminar for inbox journal

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Guoxiaosi88888888 29, Female, China - 494 entries

Apr 2011
8:52 PM EST

dream log 7

April 28, 2011 5:44am

�

Dreamt more than one dream. The first was about Phong riding with me to somewhere with my dad being the driver. It was kinda like we were in a story thingy/movie.

Another dream that I had was about being in a church and my sister was doing stuff a woman because she wanted to find more glitter for her costume for her little performance at the church we were in. Then when I come back to give my sister he glitter, she's gone to do more of the woman's needs and I start talking to her. (idk what we were talking about, probably about why she didn't like the church we were in because it looked like a temple or something [it was a gothic style church]).�

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Racquelc6 47, Female, New York, USA - 28 entries

Apr 2011
8:24 AM

It's not FAIR!!!

I think it's finally over. I feel horrible that there is a sense of relief. I should be feeling heartbreak not relief. The first D&C not going correctly has robbed me from having the feelings I should have had about the loss of this pregnancy. I swear after the second D&C that the chunks that were coming out was my baby. Everyone kept saying no, that it was just blood clots (mind you it wasn't even red) but then I got a call from my doc telling me that they tested what they sucked out at the D&C and it was fetal tissue. I knew it!!!! I wanted to keep it and bury it but I felt silly and stupid after everyone said it wasn't possible. Now I have lost that opportunity as well. So nothing to bury to give me closure and no feeling of mourning because the whole situation was so horrible and drawn out. It's just not fair.

Tags: miscarriage, mourning, sadness

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1 comment(s) - 03:22 AM - 05/04/2011

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linchaohuan 38, Female, New York, USA - 144 entries

Apr 2011
8:55 PM CST

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1 comment(s) - 01:41 PM - 05/04/2011

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opinionated 32, Female, United Kingdom - 41 entries

Apr 2011
9:44 AM AST

Forget Christmas--Easter is the shittiest time of year.

Allow me to explain the situation. My family has two faiths, Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox (I don't even know which. I've gotten different answers from the different people I ask). Forgive me for judging my parents, but I see it as a HUGE failing on their part to not pick one religion and stick to it. Sure, go nuts teaching us about the other, but do NOT have us, as a family group, celebrate both. There are two Christmases and two Easters, and every so often we have the misfortune of the two Easters falling at the same time. My father, being the Orthodox, has a whole other procedure to follow, getting the eggs blessed and all that. I've decided that not only is it exhausting to try to ascribe to two religious practices, but also fundamentally wrong--the whole point of religion is that you pick one and stick to it. I only ever realised that--only ever was told, that is--in the last few years. Hell, people go to WAR over things like this. And I'm no huge fan of organized religion, and I'm pretty sure that the God that I believe in goes against both of my handed-down beliefs ('beliefs' used in the loosest sense). Regardless, we are forced every year to go to two church twice, and (as I had the misfortune of forgetting this morning) eating a communal breakfast with all the blessed food that I've despised since childhood. I like to think that my brain does an excellent job of erasing all those awful memories, and so this morning it completely slipped my mind.

I know many families dread getting together and having to deal with all their crazy relations. I, on the other hand, dread their not coming. There is a shitload of things that my parents wouldn't DREAM of saying in front of company that we get to hear before their arrival, and believe me when I say that it doesn't lead to Christmas carols or joyful cries of Christ is Risen!. It nauseates me, that two people could have so much anger in them. And to someone who is as sensitive to emotion as I am, trust me when I say that sitting at a breakfast table with two people seething, one angrily resentful, and one aggressively uncaring is enough to take away my appetite. Shit. And so I await the time that my aunt and uncle and cousins come, because then my parents won't say the things they would otherwise. I won't get into the hypocrisy of that here.

At some point, I'm going to have to tell my father that I'm choosing Catholicism (despite its less-than-stellar reputation). He's not going to be pleased, but he can bite me. I'm an adult, and I've been capable of making my own decisions, ideologically and otherwise, for years now. And besides, I know that I'm not really a Catholic believer. Like I said, my God diverges in a great many ways from theirs.

May all your Easters (or long weekends) be less painful than mine.

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2 comment(s) - 09:52 AM - 04/27/2011

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Guoxiaosi88888888 29, Female, China - 494 entries

Apr 2011
8:55 PM EST

Dream Log 6

April 24, 2011 5:02pm

Dreamt about my friend Emily taking her driving test don't know why :/ �And I think that's all I dreamt about =.='

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charlax 71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries

Apr 2011
10:07 AM

ici

Sunday24EasterAprilPoetryNPM Sunday24EasterAprilPoetryNPM The Blind Sparrow People kick beggars from the fire. They do not feed the oldest in the field they die. The sparrow is blind you see the blind sparrow then you think GOD does not Care for his creatures who live then they die. EYe see this differently. Eye see the Spirit of GOD hopping with the Blind Sparrow knudging his shoulder to get him over to his food. Closing one of HIS good eyes to get some idea of what HIS bird is going through. Suffering with the bird weeping silently beside the bird fumbling when it fumbles. Poor Blinded sparrow blind on one side jumping to the right to see the food here here here let me knudge you to the left so you will see it get it get it get the thing on the leaf it is there for you to eat oh good so now you see it now you get to eat. Why do you the people of the lost the gone why do you see this so differently then eye. YOU see the Uncaring for his Creatures GOD living in the SKY not seeing the blind sparrow hopping with one eye. You should see the blind sparrow too. Eye see the Blind sparrow jumping suddenly to the left then getting food.

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keonyama96 31, Female, Kansas, USA - 191 entries

Apr 2011
7:40 PM

Happy Easter

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charlax 71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries

Apr 2011
10:09 AM

ici

Saturday, April 23, 2011 EasterNPMPoem23 EasterNPMPoem23 Jesus Saturday EasterNPMPoem23 EasterNPMPoem23 Jesus Saturday EasterNPMPoem23 EasterNPMPoem23 Jesus Saturday by Charles Robert Hice on Saturday, April 23, 2011 at 8:32am Jesus Saturday Two things First thing Preacher He quoted the Bible the very part about Jerusalem He did not knoe the numbers for the chapters or the verses But he Preached with much emotion getting worked up over it lying down the Law Oh Jerusalem eye would have gathered your people under my wings like chickens do those eggs. The people need to be gathered up under the steeple like hens chicks. Eye would like to putt you people underneath my wings. Rapper on Easter My pants my pants my Easter pants they falling down they showing my funny bones my pants my pants my Easter pants they splitting my sides they slacking Mon they leaving me for Lent my pants my pants my Easter pants GOODFriday23NPMPoems GOODFriday23NPMPoems Eggs boiled white hard yellow tought. Purple or blue dye only. Where is the Egg Bunny NOW ? lol TGIGF lol Is this the Cross Day ? Why is this GOOD ? Because he died for our sins to set us free of life. There is eye witnesses they seen this HE is putt on there with nails SPIKED onto this HUGE wooden Cross then left to die. He did give up the Ghost for you for eye for us. To live. To accept his sacrifice you only have to Call upon his Name. To Believe in GOD is simple so simple it should startle most of you. To GET Salvation JUST SAY JESUS. Just say the Name of GOD in Christ. It is HIS Immortal Sacrifice which gives us life. Do not confuse yourselves with works which never set you free but tell it thus tell it so tell it to those Mountain tops Jesus loves us. Eye offer you the Key to Salvation in just one Word the Word is JESUS. HE is Salvation. He is still saving even now. He is the Love in us HE is the Ruler of THIS HIS UNIVERSE. Jesus it is Good Friday now. Posted by CHARLAX

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